How Paul Merson almost ruined England performance – with a solo sex act

Callum Wilson and Lewis Dunk are set to make their England debut against the USA on Thursday night.

In preparation, they’re likely to be resting, eating healthily and generally staying out of mischief.

Paul Merson , who made his Three Lions debut back in 1991, didn’t always stick to that plan.

And he’s got some choice advice for the lads set to play for their country tonight – don’t ‘wax the dolphin’ in the hours leading up to kick-off.

To clarify, he’s warning them against performing a solo sex act before crossing the white line.

The former Arsenal , Middlesbrough and Aston Villa midfielder, now a Sky Sports pundit, was given his first England caps by Graham Taylor.

Before a friendly against Finland in June 1992, he said Taylor told the squad his starting team for the upcoming Euro 92 tournament before they’d even left British soil.

For him, his omission gave him licence to “slack off”.

In his 2012 book, How Not To Be A Professional Footballer , he said: “In the hours before the Finland match, when the squad was supposed to be sleeping, I sat up, watched the telly and waxed the dolphin.”In those days my ankles were like glass and I always used to have strappings on my lowe legs to act as a support. I was terrified of them giving way, but that afternoon I didn’t bother. I figured, ‘Well, I ain’t playing, what’s the point?’


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